Baby Boom and Awkward Moments

It's been a big week for babies! My cousin Halle had her baby yesterday, a little girl named Charley Mae (I have to double check on the spelling). Also a friend of mine since....25 years ago WOW, how am I even old enough to talk about anything that was 25 years ago?...anyway, Erin, had a little boy on the 2nd. His name is Jackson Douglas (I have to check the spelling of this too). Jack for short. Everybody is healthy and happy.

My turn! My turn! I'm so excited now, I can't wait for Eleni to get here! Every time I get any kind of tightening or pain in my back or belly...this is going to sound weird but...the more it hurts the more excited I get because 'maybe this is it!'.

Other than getting excited over every little ache and pain, nothing much is going on around here the last few days. I'm still anxiously waiting for the baby stuff I ordered to arrive....typical Greek postal service. When they say it'll be there on Monday, expect it on Thursday, Friday, maybe Monday next week. Oh well, they've assured me I'll have everything by tomorrow. Of course that's the second time they've said that. But I'm sure they mean it this time....

Lets just hope it gets here before the baby does.

We went to the beach today and discovered the pistachios are ready! YUUUUUMMMY! Unfortunately I forgot my camera today but I'll bring it along tomorrow so I can get some photos of that.

I had an EXTREMELY awkward moment with my mother-in-law today.

First of all I should tell you that I never get awkward. In fact I get super annoyed with how everyone under the age of 30 insists on using the phrase "Awkwaaaaard" at least 18 times a day and how they believe that in that moment that things truly are awkward. News flash Younger Generation...that moment is so NOT awkward. You are creating the awkwardness by acting like that. All you have to do is just come up with something wittier to say than "awkwaaaard" and everything will be fine. And while you're at it, pull your damn pants up, I'm sick of looking at your butt crack.

Anyway, so even though I never get awkward ever...I will admit today definitely included a horrific moment of awkwardness that I wish never happened.

Olympia stopped by this afternoon to drop off a present from Antonis' cousin Maria. Maria lives in Athens but comes home to Molyvos every summer for a month or so, and when she does she always brings us a gift. So, I opened my gift while Olympia was here because I got the impression she was curious about what was inside. When I peaked in the bag I saw a t-shirt....that's safe enough...so I pulled it out of the bag. It was actually a t-shirt nightgown. No big deal, just a pink cotton night gown. Nothing embarrassing about that. But as I unfolded the nightgown to get a better look at it....a pair of purple lace underwear fell out.

Ok, this still shouldn't be that big of a deal. They really weren't that racy. They were fancier than your usual Fruit of the Loom but definitely not stripper-esque. They're cute and quite classy actually and I know Maria just wanted to get me something nice to make me feel better after I lose some baby weight. She's had 2 kids and she's young enough to understand how much it sucks to have to wear giant granny panties for so many months. My mother-in-law however comes from the generation that probably invented the granny pantie....so this little purple number got quite a reaction.

First she did a lot of "ohhhhhh, ahhhhh hahahaha, ohhhhhh".

That was awkward enough. But it didn't stop there.

Then she picked them up to get a better look. That REALLY sucked so I took that time to examine my new nightgown in great detail.

Then she put them down and I thought 'ok, it's over now' so I looked up and made eye contact thinking we could move on to something else completely....but she looks right at me and says

"SEX!"

Oh. my. God.

No. no. no. no. no. no. no. no. no this so didn't just happen. Please tell me I'm hearing things. I'm totally not hearing things. OH MY GAWD NO!. Look away look away look away, do not make eye contact do not make eye contact. If I run into the street screaming everyone will think I've just gone into labour and it won't actually be that weird. Get to the door. Quick get to the door. I can't get to the door, she's standing in front of the door and she's still looking at me waiting for me reaction to her "Sssse..." no no no no no I can't even say it, she didn't say it, omg she so said it WHY WHY WHY WHYWHY?? Oh god I can't breathe. She's still waiting for a reaction, what's my reaction? Just laugh it off and ask her if she wants coffee, no don't offer coffee because then she'll be here longer and that word she said will be hanging in the air the whole time, what the hell do I do she's looking at me, nope it's too late now, you can't react now or else it'll be more awkward, I waited way too long. F*@#!!!!!

I wanted to die.

I couldn't even look at her. I picked everything up, stuffed it back in the bag and waddled away as fast as I could. But my house is small and there aren't that many places to get away....and I waddle....so I just left everything in the kitchen, including her, and went and sat on the couch.

And I'm not a prude. I don't have a problem talking about sex but NEVER EVER EVER EVER with my mother-in-law. NOT EVER! I'm going to wear out the Caps Lock key if I keep explaining how much I'm not cool with this conversation happening so I should just stop talking about this...also I'm hindering my process of regressing the horrible memory of today to somewhere deep in the depths my subconscious where I can never access it again.

She eventually followed me into the living room, sat next to me on the couch and somehow we managed to move onto other, more normal, subjects. So everything was fine eventually.

Anyway, I don't know about you guys but I've had a rough day. So I'll leave you with a couple pictures of a cute little gecko I found stuck to the outside of my window, and then I'm off to bed.

So cute!

He was a little shy though

And one last picture in real time...this is what I look like this very moment as I'm writing to all of you. 

You can see that my belly has dropped which is a sign that baby will be here soon!

You can also see that the water retention is threatening to take over my whole body...it's not just in my feet and hands anymore but in my face too. 

Oh well.

We're almost there!

Good night!